He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
