careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
this beer tastes like vomit already
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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