Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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