By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
