If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
