he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
