how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
