I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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