I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
