I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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