woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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