sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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