i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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