i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
