what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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