3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
