Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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