I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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