so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
