I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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