Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
