I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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