i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
