i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
