Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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