I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
