dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
