so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize