I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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