Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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