Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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