so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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