i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
