Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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