At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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