this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
