What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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