real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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