I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize