school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
