Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
50% drunk capacity currently
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
