i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
