All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
