i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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