In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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