I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
