Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
