before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
