Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
