on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
