whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
