Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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