I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
