Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say š
I feel kind of like weāre in a gang and tonight is one of those āpeople are gonna know not to fuck with usā type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. Iām not really sure how I got to this point in my lifeā¦ but I like it.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize