I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
