i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
