Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
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