how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
