Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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